Day #2: Compare Less. Lessons Learned Living With My Parents... Married.
My Husband and I have moved 4 times in less than 3 years of marriage.
In fact, tomorrow we close on another place, so make that 5 times.
We married young (and painfully broke), so every time we moved it was figuring out another way to lower our cost of living.
In fact, selling our last house paid off all our student loan debt.
If you missed that glamorous story, heres the link:The Impossible Possible
I realize now why that last move was so hard for me.
It wasn’t moving in with my parents while being married (which is a pride puncher).
It was that we “had it all.”
We had a house.
It was cute y’all, real cute.
It was on a good street.
It was next door to A LOT OF FRIENDS.
We looked polished.
We looked like we had things figured out.
We looked…. like everyone else.
We had the cute house, decent cars, jobs…
Moving in with my parents seems normal to the guy who has a “next step” in mind.
Be we had no next step.
Our house was under contract 10 days after putting it up on the market.
Plan? Please.
We wouldn’t be the Bells if we had a plan that ACTUALLY happened.
Actually, we wouldn’t be ADULTS if all our plans happened.
But we moved in with my parents.
Believe me, we have gotten the looks.
We have gotten the “You shouldn’t do that.”
“I would never do that… but good for you.”
“Oh… hows THAT going?”
The list goes on.
We have had the encouragers, mind you, none of you beautiful souls have gone unnoticed. I’ll love you forever.
But living without a plan, living with no next step, living a way that doesn’t “look like what everyone else has” has broken a terrible demon in my life.
Comparison.
Because, yeah… we had it.
We had what everyone had.
I felt like I was fitting the mold that I was supposed to fit …finally.
Finally I had a house. That was cute. That people wanted to come to. People wanted parties there. I loved it.
I felt approved of.
The sad part of all of it is that I didn’t realize that I cared about that until I didn’t have it.
And when we left it, I realized how desperately I craved having a life everyone else had.
Because there’s nothing wrong with wanting a house and nice things, don’t get me wrong.
The problem is losing sight of what you really want and desire because comparison tells you what you SHOULD be doing.
Moving?
Well, I live with two parents who are probably the most kind, generous, loving people on earth.
We live rent free.
They give us space.
They give us wisdom.
They give us grace.
THEY LET US LIVE WITH THEM. pretty sure that is enough in itself.
I look back at those *priceless* pictures our sweet friend, Nalin, took of us before we sold that place and miss it.
But as I type, sitting in my parents living room, I love the refining that the Lord has had to do in me.
Burning off the ugly patches that comparison tainted in my heart.
I sit and think of how thankful I am.
The new place we picked out is of course not what anyone else is doing.
Yes, we have been called crazy.
BUT
We have also been called smart.
But more than anything, I love that comparison didn’t play a role in it.
In 30 days of wishful doing, I challenge you to take captive the thoughts that engulf you. That steal from you. The thoughts that tell you what you SHOULD be. I challenge you to tell those thoughts WHO you are.
Tell every thought to come into obedience to what the Lord has put in place.
Because the Lord put those desires in your heart.
Don’t let comparison trick you into thinking those desires are something to be ashamed of.
“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
Day 2: Stop comparing, start living.
